


Boring Partying Drinking

by Unicorn (Jensee)



Series: Tumblr Mini-fics [6]
Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Alcohol, Fluff, M/M, Other, hint at alcoholism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-22
Updated: 2018-11-22
Packaged: 2019-08-27 21:20:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16710229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jensee/pseuds/Unicorn
Summary: Peter gets bored. Peter gets drunk. Juno gets to keep him.





	Boring Partying Drinking

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a-random-fandom-friend (@a-random-fandom-friend on tumblr), a good friend of mine, who requested a bunch of prompt, including "How much did you drink?" that I decided to do with Jupeter, so there we are.
> 
> Someone save me from horrible title town.

Peter Nureyev, Juno could tell, was bored. Their mark hadn’t bothered to show up for more than five minutes to their own party, and Lucius Palladium, the obnoxious art collector Peter was impersonating, was ‘socializing’ with the upper criminal society while deft fingers freed the participant of their wallets, their jewels, and – if the cluttered pockets of Peter were to be believed – their cutlery.

Juno, of course, was entirely unaware of such thievery, otherwise he’d have to have a strong worded discussion with his partner. While Peter was collecting phone numbers and silverwares, he was trying to discreetly take pictures of the various art pieces displayed around the room. Dys Palladium, Lucius’ husband and arm candy – Juno was bewildered at what people were ready to believe – couldn’t justify making a call about stolen art to Rita, so he had to use his comms in the most innocuous way possible to get evidence he could use later. There was no doubt in his mind that the overly muscled waiters all around the room doubled as bouncers and bodyguards, and getting dragged in front of a mob boss for spying on them wasn’t exactly Juno’s idea of a fun night.

It took Juno longer than he would have anticipated to take all of his evidence pictures, but in the end, he had a database of what he was sure was a solid case against ring leader Vega Valentine, which would be worth the effort. Peter’s mark was still nowhere to be found, so they had nothing more to do here.

However, it seemed that Peter… had vanished. Juno’s heart banged against his ribcage as he tried to locate the thief: had Peter been unmasked while he wasn’t paying attention? No, that made no sense, he was too good an actor for that. But then,

“Peek a-boo!”

Juno whirled around, ready to throw a punch to his opponent face, but stopped abruptly in his tracks as he was faced with the one and only, Peter Nureyev. The thief smelled like expensive alcohol and wore a dopey smile as if he had forgotten he was supposed to be an asshole for the night.

Peter-Lucius didn’t seem deterred by the show of violence, and threw his arms around Juno’s neck, looking for all the world like a lovestruck idiot.

“Hey there…” Peter followed the world with a ridiculous eyebrows wiggle, apparently designed to look sexy and inviting. It was ridiculous, and absolutely had not effect on Juno, at all.

“Are you drunk?” This was… unprecedented. Either Peter was pretending to be drunk to get away from the party, or he had actually managed to get himself inhebriated, and probably would be better away from prying eyes and ears. In any case, this was Juno’s cue to get them out of here.

“Maybe I am…” Again with that eyebrow wiggle. Why was Juno attracted to this man again?

“Alright. Party’s over. We’re going back to the hotel.”

Juno untangled himself from Peter to take his hand. The thief didn’t resist the manhandling.

“You know I would follow you anywhere… love.”

Juno, not for the first time, wished he was able to control the heat going to his face.  
Was that his imagination or Peter had almost tripped on his name for a second there? Was he actually drunk under his persona?

Peter followed diligently enough as Juno dove straight for the exit. Maybe he stumbled a bit along the way, but not enough to slow them down. Nobody tried to stop them from leaving, and once outside, Juno felt himself release a breath he hadn’t realized he'd been holding.

The hotel the Palladiums had took a room in was close enough from the mansion that they could walk from one to the other. As soon as they turned the first corner, Peter’s stumbling stopped, and he straightened slightly, his grip becoming softer and less desperate in Juno’s hand.

“Are you not actually drunk?”

Peter looked at him, with a smug smile, only to stumble on his next step. The grip Juno still had on his hand was the only reason his head didn’t hit the pavement.

“Well, I wouldn’t say that, exactly. Only that I am not as drunk as Palladium was.”

Juno snorted a laugh. Peter was back to gripping him tightly, and the missed fall had probably been a move on Peter’s part to get an excuse to lean on him like he was now, but he couldn’t find it in himself to mind.

“How much did you drink anyway? Those drinks can’t have been that strong.”

“I drank what was offered to me. Blending in your environment is the number one rule of thieving.” Peter turned his nose up in a very Palladium fashion. “Besides, not everyone learns to desensitize themselves from alcohol consumption by age ten.”

“What you mean is, you’re a lightweight.”

Peter’s smile, from sharp and smug, turned soft and tender. Juno, like every time, felt as if somehow had pulled the rug from under him only to trip him into a warm and soft place. Disgustingly mushy.

“What if I am?”

Peter crept closer to Juno, until he was in front of him, close enough for the detective to smell the faint, fruity smell of his drinks.

“Does it matter, as long as I have my dashing lady, ready to come for me, riding a beam of sunshine?”

The one hand that wasn’t gripping Juno’s came to rest on his cheek, and Juno Steel felt the world focus in Peter Nureyev’s form until he couldn’t have escaped from the two black eyes in front of him even if he had wanted to.

“Together, Juno, there’s nothing we can’t do.”

And Juno… Juno, despite everything, despite rationality and the ghosts of his past, couldn’t help but believe him.


End file.
